You are about to learn a shit load on the DO’S and DON’TS of raising Mealworms and King Worms. You will find this article incredibly informative, racially insensitive, and probably even a little funny. If you are an aspiring Worm Farmer, or need a reason to squeak out one more day of your shitty life, by laughing at mine, then read on.
I’m so broke that I’ve actually resorted to working under-the-table at a local Worm Farm in 115 degree weather. That’s right, folks, a Jew raising worms. I don’t even know why that’s ironic? Good news is, I have valuable insight to share!
#1 PROPER MAINTENANCE: Mealworms Stink like Rotting Corpses
If you are into necrophilia, then this smell will turn you on more than the odoriferous mixture of decay and vanilla from the dead whore in your trunk. However, if you have the misfortune of being normal, read on.
Worms reproduce at an exponential rate, which can quickly become a bitch even for the smallest operation.
These little fuckers need more TLC than a Jewish American Princess…
Mrs. Goldstein
a term she takes offense to. ‘Sorry Honey’
You’ll continuously need:
- Wheat Bran
- Fresh Vegetables Biweekly: Carrots, Squash, Cactus, etc. for water & nutrients
- They need to be Sifted: fertilizer is a great byproduct for growing weed
- The beetles also need to be separated out by hand
- Racks and Tubs for harvesting
The horrific smell comes from, you guessed it, DEATH, and the number one cause is neglect.
If you are thinking of breaking into the worm business, know that this will require a lot of time, effort, and cash you probably don’t have if you’re pondering Worm Farming anyway.
PREVENTION: Start Small. You will fail the first couple of tries. Also, if you think you can Jew your way around any of these processes, think again.
SOLUTION: Don’t be a dumb ass. Make sure you have the time to maintain a healthy crop.
#2 INFESTATION: MOTHS & ANTS Destroy Your Sanity & Your Crop
KILLER MOTHS
For sake of imagery, if you’ve ever seen The Mist, you may have a small idea of what it’s like in a room filled with a thousand God Damned moths flying all over you. Along with them, are hundreds of thousands of creepy-crawly worms and beetles swarming over tubs stacked high and low allowing only enough space for maneuvering. Yes, this horror is my work environment, and YES, THIS COULD BE YOU!
THE CAUSE: Bad Wheat Bran. Well isn’t that a bitch?
Remember the whole exponential growth thing… Yeah, this applies to all insects, even the ones you aren’t trying to grow. Other species of worm/insect can infest your Wheat Bran without the cultivator knowing it. The infestation is in the form of tiny eggs caused from cross-contamination or a simple moth laying eggs at some point. As your Mealworms mature, the foreign eggs hatch. Moths are usually the result. The moths immediately mate and lay more eggs in the tubs you are using for the worms. The problem then gets worse and worse!
PREVENTION: Buy good Wheat Bran from a reputable source.
SOLUTION: There is none, you’re just plain fucked. Live with it, this is part of the business. Get a fly swatter and go to town. This is a good stress reliever. However, don’t accidentally knock over a whole rack of tubs. This may give you a glimpse into your ultimate destiny SIX FEET UNDER.
MARCH OF THE KILLER ANTS
The only thing I have to say is, Ants Throw Down. They will straight fuck your worms up, like, to the death a shit, Son. Oh shit, just turned off the Snoop Dogg. Sorry, I lost myself for a second.
PREVENTION:
a) Line the perimeter of your work area with salt. The salt gets into the ants’ junk and stops them in their tracks. This is a secret that exterminators won’t tell you.
b) Place your table’s feet in a cup – applies to all tables topped with tubs. Don’t let anything, not even a thread, connect the top of the table to the actual floor. Same principle as the defensive water-filled moat around a castle.
SOLUTION: As previously mentioned, there is none. Your crop will die!
In Conclusion, these two fundamental topics are obvious yet invaluable.
If you want to have success, then read, experiment, and learn from others. There is nothing special about you, or your circumstance, so get over yourself. Do as others do, and don’t bite off more than you can chew.
ONE MORE THING: Never raise worms or any kind of feed in the same room, or house, you’re living in. This can be disastrous, as the NSA may fuck you in the ass with conspiracy to commit bioterrorism.
Regards,
Goldstein
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
Interesting read, I was just looking for pictures of Manson and you gave me a good laugh.
thanks for the laugh, i am new at growing meal worms for my bird and liked the advice about the salt. live in hawaii and critters getting into my worms is a big problem. i have basically built a moat around mine to deter ants and gekos, etc. so far it’s working. started a month ago with 500 larvae and am anticipating a huge take over on their part and need a larger area to keep them. so far have been lucky with no smell, either that or my nose is properly plugged for my benefit! you may want to try using vicks under your nose before you go in. guess you figured out i watch CSI.
Wow, I found that pretty funny but at the same time I’ve read the same thing over and over. I just started raising meal worms, i started with 250 and have them in a good source of oats for bedding. I am switching out my carrots every 2-3 days and making sure to keep the moisture levels down. The problem I am having is that I have had may of my worms come up dead and what appears to be canobolism (not sure if thats spelled right) with the body intact but the abdomen section (where the legs are located just behind the head) and legs missing or hallowed out but all the guts and the rest of the body left alone. Does this mean they are feeding on each other or what. I’ve also found a few that looked like they were cut in half and not eaten by anything else (have they turned into pupae or what?) I’ve looked and looked on almost every site I can find to get some answers, but maybe beings that you work at a worm far you might be able to help me with this. I would greatly appreciate any help. Thank you in advance Dustin
Sorry that my last post had so many grammer errors, prob should have re read that before I hit send…my bad