Yeah I remember when this was the buzz. Also, the actual paper/pages themselves have invisible coding at the bottom of each page that maps where an actual piece of paper was distributed from, down to the exact Staples/Office Depot store it was sold from. I believe this all stemmed from hype surrounding the post 9-11 Anthrax scares.
This is exactly why Some Cat Who Isn’t Me always purchased his OxyContin and printed the receipts from a public library. And he always made sure to wear a hat and never look up at the ceiling…
The MUCH bigger fear is the fact that your smart phone is a full-time government-access tracking device. Smart phones CANNOT be turned off. There is no such thing as a temporary/pushbutton on-off switch. Those types of switches only mimic the device turning on/off, which means it’s still fully powered on and running, except the screen is powered down to make it look like it’s off.
But wait, it gets worse… The batteries in these smart phones are non-removable, so you can’t simply pull out the battery when you want it to shut off.
But wait, it gets WORSE – just like in a Texas Instruments graphing calculator, these smart phones have backup button-cell batteries, so they pretty much run forever. And what exactly is it that’s being run forever? Well the GOOD news is, it runs the 9-1-1 emergency calls, so you can call 911 from almost anywhere and get immediate assistance. The BAD news is, it’s also running the GPS locator, which means the government can pinpoint your location to within 15′ (i.e. sniper distance) from pretty much anywhere on Earth.
People think I like my old ghetto phone because I’m poor… They don’t realize it’s because I DESIGN this technology and I know just how horribly flawed it is. Just like how I drive my old crappy Honda… because I know how SHITTY newer car technology is. Just wait 10 years, when ambient weather conditions cause dielectric breakdown, and random electrolytic capacitors start blowing-out on all the modern cars’ ECUs. Heck, some of these Hondas and Toyotas are only a few years old, and they’re ALREADY doing whatever the fuck they please. The auto manufacturers relinquished control of the gas, brakes, clutch, shifter, and steering, all to a simple 64-bit computer… Yeah, THAT’S a good idea. Mark my words, 10 years from now, when all these ECUs start burning out (as all computers do), you’re gonna see droves of these fuckin’ things driving off the road, or flooring it off cliffs.
Moral of the story: there’s no such thing as new technology. Only new application of old, shitty technology. “Touch screen” technology was dismissed in the 1980′s as being a worthless novelty, now suddenly all the “smart” phones are using it… Okay. And these accelerometers… Again, completely dismissed as being useless and impractical, but now suddenly they can be made incredibly cheap and tiny, so we’re throwing them into everything. Even Goldstein tossed an accelerometer onto his dradle, just to measure and compare g-forces under different boost conditions.
It’s ludicrous. I can’t think of a single new cell phone technology that has risen in the past 10 years. Digital is digital; anything digital is compatible with anything digital. The only reason we seem to be making strides now with this technology is because we have different manufacturers working together, to set up prearranged entrance flags, clock speeds, etc. Sort of like… Goldstein makes some piece of crap he wants to sell. I also make some piece of crap I want to sell. So we agree to have our two pieces of crap perform a handshake at 128kbs, and we pat ourselves on the back by calling the “new technology” something like “super ultra mega kosher dynamic compu-global hyper-magnetic synchronization.”
Cars and cells phones… Shittiest “technology” on Earth. I can’t wait ’til people start dying in their new Toyotas because the cars randomly decide to steer them off the road at 80mph because of a computational error. My advice for everyone on Earth:
- Don’t buy a car that doesn’t have a throttle cable that directly connects to the throttle body/plate.
- Don’t buy a car that doesn’t have the steering rack directly connected to the power steering pump.
- Anti-lock brakes and “electronic stability controls” are simply ways of relinquishing your car’s braking system to the ECU. This is clearly phase 1 in Skynet’s quest be become self-aware.
- If you have a smart phone, rip it apart and throw away the button-cell battery. And hard-wire a mechanical switch onto the foil-bagged lithium ion battery so that you can actually flip the phone off when you don’t want the government to watch you masturbate.
Holy crap, did I really just type all that?! Time really flies when you’re procrastinating having to brush your teeth, shower, and get ready for bed….
Come to think of it, I bet there’s a LOTR trilogy playing on some Turner movie channel somewhere…
